The Trouble With Sponsors

'There was another incident, which occurred during the rehearsal of one of the big cigarette programs - a program which is on the air to this day, with exactly the same formula as at that time, some eighteen or nineteen years ago.

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One of the arrangements called for a sixteen-bar ad lib clarinet solo. When we got to it I went into a cautious, radiolized kind of improvisation - almost straight melody, except for a little twist here and there to give the illusion of jazz phrasing.

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Suddenly we were interrupted by that same Voice of God roaring from the control booth. (It's remarkable, by the way, how similar people's voices can sound when they are distorted by these loudspeakers.)

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"What's the idea?"

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"What idea?" the conductor asked, after stopping the orchestra.

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"How many men are playing in that spot?"

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"Just solo clarinet and rhythm section - five men altogether. Just for that sixteen-bar spot," said the conductor.

 

Silence. Conference in the control room. Then - "No good," the loudspeaker rasped. "The sponsor's paying for thirty-five men, and thirty-five men are what he wants to hear."

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"But you can't play ensemble all the time," said the bewildered conductor.

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"The sponsor doesn't care about that - he's paying for a full orchestra and he doesn't want to hear five men. Fill it in."

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"But -" and the conductor subsided.

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By the time we went on air that night, it had been "filled in" and this time the whole orchestra was playing ensemble throughout. I assume the sponsor was happy.

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As a result of this sort of thing, the musicians working in radio those days were some of the most cynical people I have ever known anywhere. Most of them - as indeed they had to be to get into this kind of work to begin with - fine musicians. Among them were .....Tommy Dorsey, Jimmy Dorsey, Benny Goodman, Bunny Berigan, Manny Klein ..... the pick of the jazz musicians in the country ......'

 

From The Trouble With Cinderella by Artie Shaw (1952) - Limited availability.